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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

THE “CHUNNEL” vs. CHARLES BARKLEY’S GOLF SWING

Today’s scholars have long debated replacements for the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World; with modern marvels such as Europe’s Channel Tunnel and The Petronas Towers in Malaysia in hot debate. There are many options in the modern world to choose from, but who sets the criteria for becoming a “wonder?” Must a “wonder” be a structure or useful tool of civilization? Can it not be simply something you “wonder” about? Could it not be something that is so indescribable and mysterious to our modern universe that it defies explanation? If that be the case, I can think of no better wonder than that of the wonder that is Sir Charles Barkley’s golf swing.

To truly understand what constitutes a modern marvel or wonder, one must first look to the past. The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World are classified as the Great Pyramid of Giza, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Temple of Artemis, Statue of Zeus at Olympia, Mausoleum of Maussollos, Colossus of Rhodes and the Lighthouse of Alexandria. Some may mock when comparing Charles Barkley’s golf swing to the Great Pyramid of Giza, but both appear very similar upon serious scrutiny. Facts: Sir Charles nor the Great Pyramid have ever shot below par and neither have successfully hit a golf ball from the sand they are constantly surrounded by. Both rest in the “100’s” and both are very powerful forms that once dominated their environment, but now are resigned to obscurity in the desert. Both have countless videos being made regarding their construction that fascinate and confuse several experienced professionals. While all other original wonders have been destroyed by fire and earthquakes, both the swing and pyramid remain.

For a more modern comparison, I compare Chuck’s chunk to that of the total earth removed from the Channel Tunnel project. Both have removed vast tonnages of soil in order to simply get something from “A” to “B.” Both are constantly in danger of collapsing although authorities have assured the public that both are completely safe. At any moment, due to the enormous complexities of the endeavors, both can serious cause death or injury to those in their path. The Channel Tunnel is also featured in the climax of the1996 film Mission: Impossible, while Sir Charles swing is... well, you get the idea.

For those more mysterious wonders; how about the monuments on Easter Island vs. the Sir Charles swat? Countless discussions continue to evolve by leading scholars and tradesmen regarding the nature and origin of the two with little conclusive results. How were they built? What is the purpose? Are aliens involved? Should children be allowed near them? These and other similar questions remain closely intertwined as both Charles Barkley’s golf swing and other modern wonders fight for a legitimate place among the world’s greatest.

1 Comments:

  • I agree. However, I would compare it to the wonder of the Golden Gate Bridge because like Charle's golf swing and the bridge, they both can be used as a platform for suicide.

    By Blogger Bradley Axon, at 11:20 AM  

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